WA Favorite Childhood Snack Grew Up, For A Limited Time

Many of you will think this is just the dumbest thing imaginable. But for those who love stupid marketing ploys like me, you'll most definitely appreciate this. Starting now through the end of the month, our favorite little fishy buddies, those cheese-crunchy delights brought to us by Campbell Snacks, have rebranded themselves and stepped up into an elegant class of higher-end snacks, calling themselves Chilean Sea Bass Crackers.

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Cheese, crunchy, salty

Our beloved little Goldfish are trying to target the older crowd that still loves them. I certainly know my family does. Heck, at previous radio stations I’ve worked at, we used to have cases of these little suckers around, and they went fast. Cheese, crunchy, salty—what’s not to love? Well, their thinking is that if they brand themselves as a more mature product, they will appeal to an older crowd—the Millennials and Gen Z. I, for one, want to buy these and have a joke about it, maybe set up a nice romantic dinner for my fiancée and serve Chilean Sea Bass Crackers.

New Drops

Danielle Brown, Vice President of Goldfish, stated, "We know the love for Goldfish spans all ages. Chilean Sea Bass is a playful nod to adults that the iconic fish-shaped snack is for grown-up tastes too." So you ask yourself, “Self, how do I get these new, amazing treats that I’m magically wanting to eat now that they have a new name but the exact same taste?” Well, consumers can order two bags of Chilean Sea Bass Crackers for $7.38 at ChileanSeaBassCrackers.com while supplies last. The company will offer "new drops of inventory" through October 30. Pretty much every day, go to the site at 9 a.m. Eastern time and see if you can get your hands on them. Every day they’re dropping a limited amount. But I’m sure, like everything else, when this is gone, there’s going to be some jerk that bought 500 bags somehow, and he’ll be selling them for 40 bucks a piece. And I’m sure some idiot is going to buy them, creating a fictional collector’s value on what is essentially a printing error in the sense of lack of full rebranding. As you can tell, I find these limited-release, hard-to-get products maddening because of jerks who put a false value on them afterward. But on the other hand, I love when a company does silly things like this, making them come off as more human, in a way. They make a joke, and we all "buy" into the joke. But I digress.

Previous Years

In previous years, they’ve done different flavors of Goldfish. I think I would like that more. They did an Old Bay partnership, hitting all the little fishies with 18 delicious herbs and spices, and they also did a Frank’s RedHot collab. I don’t remember that one myself, but it sounds good.

New Inventions

See, I’m one of those weird guys obsessed with his smoker, so I run out of things to smoke sometimes. During those times, I end up smoking crackers. My favorite is Chex Mix and Goldfish smoked with Tabasco and my BBQ rub—it’s simply amazing.

There you have it—new but not new, just rebranded fish as a joke for a limited time, just to remind you that, yes, you still do love those tasty little fish you used to eat with your friends in the middle of the night during a sleepover inside a blanket fort.