Kennewick Bong Thief Sought by Police

I'm pretty sure you need to read the following in Cheech & Chong voices...

Hey man, he wanna get high?

Sure.

You got any dope?

Yeah man. But it's some cheap stuff, so let's don't roll it, it harshes my throat out. Fire up the bong, man.

Aww man, I loaned my bong to my brother. Then his girlfriend threw it out the window onto the driveway.

You got any money for a new bong?

Nah, I spent it on dope.  But I have rolling papers.

No, I told you that harshes my throat out, man. I'll go get us a new bong.

How you gonna do that, yo? I thought you ain't got no money.

Easy man, I just go into Pandora's Box and look like I'm shopping and then pick out a super nice bong. And then I'll slide it into my giant winter coat here on this 50ﾟ day and slip out of there unnoticed.

Are you sure this will work without getting into any trouble?

Yeah man, don't harsh my mellow.

(FOUR HOURS LATER...BOTH VERY STONED)

Hey man, I saw on Facebook that the cops are lookin' for ya.

That's not possible, I can't remember my Facebook password.

No, I saw your picture on Facebook and the cops are lookin' for ya.

They can't get into my Facebook if they don't know the password.

(stoned laugh) Haha yeah man.

Let's go steal some Funyuns.

Yeah man.