5 Dumbest Theories for Mystery Ash Falling on Mid Columbia

Meteorologists don't know the identify of the chalky substance falling on the Mid Columbia Feb. 6. Here are the five DUMBEST theories I've heard:

1
It's guerilla marketing for "50 Shades of Grey"
2
It's a conspiracy orchestrated by local car washes!
3
It's from Mt. Rainier exploding
4
It's from a dust storm
Yeah, because we all remember the dust storm we just had, right?
5
It's the end of the world
Or at least a huge explosion!