Everybody poops. At least, that's what we all learned as toddlers. That means dogs too, and with the pooch being one of the most popular companions in Washington, we all have to deal with dog poop - even if we don't own a dog ourselves.

There have been countless times in my life that I've discovered dog poop left on my lawn by a stray dog or worse, a doggy caretaker that hasn't been diligent in doo-doo duty. I've also learned just how heated people get about abandoned poop - one of my neighbors had their car window broken last year because she had put out signs telling people to "pick up their dog's s@*(."

But none of that prepared me for the story of Dog Poop Girl.

A "missed connection" in Portland, Oregon

Craigslist has long been known for one of its sections called "Missed Connections" - a place where people in the community can leave notes for the strangers they've run into but never got their name or number. And while it's often been used for "hey girl" kinds of flirting, I ran into a much different kind of "hey girl" connection that is definitely not romantic.

Picture it. You're walking in Ladd's, a historic district in Portland, and you spot a common sight: someone out with their dog doing the 'business.' Nothing out of the ordinary.

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What happened next is shocking.

As our missed connection tells it:

I was walking my dog and saw your pitbull poop, you knelt down and started picking at the grass next to it for quite a while. I asked you if you needed a bag and you said no, it was too wet to pick up.

Eww. Gross. No. Our missed connection walked away - but then encountered the same woman a few months later. This time, "dog poop girl" knelt down and tried to hide the poop with leaves instead of plucked blades of grass.

With your bare hands?

We have questions, Dog Poop Girl.

Our missed connection asked, "Is it a territory thing? Is it not more disgusting to get that close to poop bare handed than to just use bags?" They even offered to give the woman free bags next time they saw them.

I thought, well, maybe it's a concern for the environment. This is PDX, after all. But surely Dog Poop Girl knows that there are biodegradable and compostable dog poop bags? Heck even if you still hate bags, she could carry a little scoop and walk it over to the nearest poop bin.

I don't know what the reason is, but this is a lesson for all of us.

A man pleading in front of a no pooping dog sign with arrows pointing
Getty / Canva

Don't be the Dog Poop Girl.

Pick up after your pets! Most parks and other public areas have bins and even free bags available to help the cause of clean shoes. There are many kinds of carriers - some quite cute - that can carry bags with you as you go on a walk.

It's Washington law that you must pick up after your pet's bathroom business and dispose of it in appropriate waste bins or disposed of properly off-site. Some Washington cities, like Bothell, charge pricey fines if you don't do so.

Remember, Washington: ABC.

  • Always
  • Be
  • Carrying (dog poop bags).

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